A Moment of Gratitude

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I’m having a real moment today. I had the same moment yesterday as well as the day before and I have a sneaking suspicion that it will return tomorrow. I’m having a string of these moments of intense gratitude. I’m feeling insanely grateful for my life and I thought in the spirit of Thanksgiving (Hallo-whatttt?! Give me turkey), I’d write about it.

I’m grateful to own my own business and for the fact that complete strangers want to pay me to do what I love. I’m sorry, but what kind of dream world am I living in? I’ve wanted to be a business owner since my early days of barbies and dress-up. As a kid, I subscribed to magazines like Real Simple, and Martha Stewart Living. Instead of watching Saturday morning cartoons, I flipped the channel to watch Martha in all her glory (pre-prison, ya’ll!) I’ve always had a box/drawer/closet/room stuffed to the brim with craft supplies from various hobbies I’ve picked up (knitting, painting, drawing, sewing, scrapbooking, fashion design, making miniatures, doll-making, paper-mache, calligraphy, jewelry-making, beading, weaving, baking, and so many more). I’m grateful to my parents for funding all that shit and allowing me to create with my hands rather than rot behind a TV screen.

I’m also grateful to my parents for pushing me and never allowing me to settle for being average. I’m grateful to them for believing in me even when I do things that are nontraditional like going to art school to get a marketing degree or quitting a stable job to be a florist with almost no floral experience under my belt. Even when they give me sideways glances I know they believe in me and will do anything in their power to help me succeed.

I’m grateful to the internet for existing and allowing me a platform to spread my ideas to people I might not have otherwise reached. My years of blogging have taught me how to connect with strangers through this new format and it has also opened up my eyes to a world of creatives bringing incredible ideas to the table every single day. The inspiration is overwhelming and also insanely motivational.

I’m grateful for my youth and my lifestyle. I love living in a girly apartment in the middle of a city surrounded by insanely kind and talented friends. I love the late night laughs, spontaneous beers, crafty nights, Gilmore Girls Netflix binges, stories about awful blind dates, and shared meals with these people. I’m so grateful for the ability to wake up every day and choose how I spend my time. I’m in love with this life I live. My heart is so full of gratitude and love for everyone and everything. I love that I am a woman and I have the options to dress how I please, say whatever comes to mind, work and support myself, go to school, and be autonomous. I know this is not an option for ladies in certain parts of the world and I do not take this opportunity lightly.

Recently these feelings of gratitude have had my heart so full I’m pretty sure I’m going to burst. And I know this is just the beginning of a long road. So, to those who believed in me, thank you. And to those who did not believe in me, I want to thank you too. You are the fuel to my fire and are just as responsible for these incredible days as anyone else in my life. I have some exciting projects in the works and I can’t wait to share my life and dreams with you as it all unfolds.

xoxo

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So apparently I’m a feminist

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There’s this big resurgence of the word “feminist” going around. I have to somewhat shamefully admit that I was really opposed to this term until very recently (and I still cringe a little when I say it). But the older I get, the more I realize what feminism truly is and it’s an idea I can really fucking stand behind.

The past four months I have been working full time for myself. I am building a company and, much to my very pleasant surprise, I’m finding that this is something at which I can truly excel. When you’re in the trenches of starting a new business it’s basically the only thing you think about/want to do/want to talk about. I’ve had to actively force myself to calm down on the shop talk in other aspects of my life because I think my friends are getting sick of it. No matter how much success and happiness I’ve created in my business, I still get one comment that just fucking floors me. Every. Single. Time.

“Don’t focus so much on your business that you forget to find yourself a nice guy”.

I’m sorry but whaaaaa…..?

If I was a young man building an empire, I am confident no one would be concerned about my marital status. BUT because I’m a lady, everyone feels it necessary to remind me of my place in life; which, apparently, is in the kitchen with some homemade buns in the oven and perhaps a bun in my own oven… I find it deplorable that I am constantly reminded that being single is something to be ashamed of when my male counterparts are encouraged to first chase their dreams and once they’ve done so, then they can find a pretty trophy wife to lean on their arm and bask in the glow of how great they are.

So, to bring this bad boy full circle, I want to extend a challenge to all my free-thinking, feminist ladies out there. Chase your dreams, girls. Don’t let society tell you that your dreams can wait until you’re in better shape / you’ve found a man / you’ve finished school / you’ve worked X number of years for someone else / etc. etc. Do your damn thing and once you’ve built your empire, hit the streets and find a trophy husband to hold your hand so you can bask in the glow of how great YOU are. OR, better yet, find a man who has been out chasing his own dreams. Find the Jay to your Bey. Ladies? We flawless.

Flagstaff + I Hate Camping

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When I drove away from my apartment on Saturday morning, my plan was to lay my back row of car seats flat, crack the windows, and curl up with the two pillows and two blankets I brought with me when I went to sleep that night. I had struck out in my attempts at finding a bed or couch to borrow for the evening and because I own no camping equipment I had resigned myself to the back of my car. It could be worse, right?

Let me start at the beginning of the story. This weekend I took a relatively spontaneous trip to Flagstaff. A past coworker of mine got hitched and scheduled the services of my fledgling floral empire (Hoot & Holler) for her big day. I drove up, flowers in tow, and in 2 1/2 short hours I encountered a 50 degree drop in temperature. Arizona is a strange state because a quick drive can take you from the desert to the mountains or a lake and you can experience all sorts of temperature changes along the way. I had a lovely evening and was thrilled to see my floral designs walk down the aisle (generally I am not a guest of the weddings I do work for). I totally lost it during the ceremony and then enjoyed the rest of my evening laughing with friends, dancing to stay warm, wearing a really cool jacket, and eating many, many taquitos!

At the end of the evening, two amazing friends offered me a bed to sleep in (huge upgrade from my previous plan), and although the “cabin” had no heat or electricity, it felt like a mansion. As I laid in bed feeling queasy from too much tequila, I felt like the evening was one of those moments that is pivotal in your life. I felt so incredibly blessed to be in a position to spontaneously leave for a night, to drink too much clear liquor, to hug the incredible people in my life, to watch my passion in action, and to curl up on a really hard mattress with the sound of a campfire singalong and laughter outside my front door. Here’s to many more nights spent living my bliss.

Literally Living the Dream

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This week has been insane.  It’s been a whirlwind of booked events, exciting marketing plans, momentum on big projects, new connections, drinks with old connections, and this overwhelming feeling of bliss.  This morning I woke up, made a run to the flower market, then stopped in to Creative Mornings to listen to a wonderfully intelligent woman speak about a photographer that captured these incredible glimpses into modern Arizonan history.  As I settled into my seat with my cold bagel breakfast, I looked around at the room and thought, “Fuck, I love my life right now”.

But really… how lucky am I to be a business owner at the age of 23?  How lucky am I to carry my own ideas from my mind into the world and watch them flourish?  How lucky am I to chase my passions for a living?  I can’t stop thinking about how extraordinary this life is that I’ve created for myself and I am almost drowning in this sense of excitement and anticipation for what is to come next.

I’m off to price out some weddings, create some gorgeous arrangements, pretend like I know how to be a graphic designer, and listen to some A$AP Rocky and YG.  Life is fucking great and I’m relishing every moment of this.

On a Personal Note

Last week I discovered that the boy I had been dating was in a committed relationship with someone else (FOR A WHILE) that I knew nothing about.  I also found out that this dumpster-fuck bought flowers from me (his side bitch) that were gorgeous and amazing and sold to him AT COST for his new girl (also known as his main bitch).  News like that tends to shake up your world and at first I was feeling pretty bad for myself.  But then, I got the fuck over it.  Know why?  Because I had NO IDEA.  Women constantly beat themselves up over being in relationships that went sour and they blame themselves.  But why do we do this?  I’ve been wrestling with this feeling all week and wavering between self pity (shhhhh I deserve to give myself some of that) and this righteous “I’M A GROWN-ASS LADY WHO IS WAY TOO FUCKIN’ GOOD FOR THIS SHIT” attitude.  Luckily for me, I’ve been erring more on the side of that second group of feelings than the self-pity.  So, in the spirit of being a single lady in my early 20’s living this dating life full of womanizers, liars, the boys who are WAY too stoked on sex, and the occasional “nice guy” who’s actually not a nice guy – I’ve decided to list my favorite ways to handle a break-up.
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  1. ALL OF THE ICE CREAM.  Is this a cliche?  Fuckin’ right it is and FOR A REASON.  Nothing soothes the feelings of being a surprise “other woman” like the smooth deliciousness of ice cream.
  2. The trashiest of trashy TV.  Know what makes you feel better about your own life?  The teenagers on One Tree Hill who act like 30-year-olds and get into major car accidents, have sex with everyone, hang out in clubs with major celebs, and have a ridiculous amount of disposable income and no parents.  Is it good TV?  NOPE.  Does it make you feel good to binge-watch it on Netflix while you eat all of the ice cream?  You bet your sweet ass it does.
  3. Your favorite friends.  I’ve been soaking up so much friend time it’s unreal.  Know what makes you forget about scum-bags who cheat on you (I guess technically I was the one helping him cheat…)?  All of the incredible friends in your life that feed you ice cream, beaucoup beer, and let you borrow their favorite books to help distract you from the dumpster-fire that is your personal life.
  4. Drinking.  No, I’m not kidding and no, this is probably not a healthy way for one to “deal with their emotions”.  But guess what?  Being gin drunk is FUN.  So is being drunk off of the really classy kind of beer brewed at local places and costs more than beer should cost but looks really cool in instagram pictures.  And being drunk while you’re with your favorite friends is FUN.  Plus, what the fuck else are you supposed to do to celebrate the few sad victories of adulthood other than buy beer legally and get a little shitty sometimes?
  5. Not wearing pants.  This is actually my way to deal with most things in life but it ESPECIALLY applies here.  Stay home, don’t put real pants on, invite your favorite friends over, crack open some beers, put on some trashy TV, and eat all of the ice cream.  Done, done, and DONE.

I hope you all had an excellent week.  Keep following along for more adventures in the life of your token single friend ;).